The Twilight Diaries
by wellitsnotgoingtosuckitself
Summary: an insight to the lives of our fave vamps and actors. Enjoy :D
1. Bella

**Dear Diary,**

**Do you ever wish your boyfriend would just stop being a pussy and have sex with you?**

**You're the only one who understands me diary (:**

**Bella xx**


	2. Emmett

**Dear Diary, **

**Coz this is my first diary, Alice told me to write what i felt and what i learned in the day.**

**Today, i learned that cats don't appreciate it when you put empty Smarties tubes on their legs to make them walk like a robot. **

**I also learned that when they realise they can't scratch you, they go crazy and destroy everything in sight.**

**I was in Alice's room.**

**Mood: Disappointed, amused, and scared.**

**She took my legs. **

**I have to by her a new favourite dress : (**

**Love Emmett.**


	3. Ashley

Diary, Diary, Diary.  
He read you again didn't he?  
I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE TO WORK WITH SOMEONE AS IMMATURE AS HIM.  
This is the last straw diary. The last  
ily =3  
Ashley.


	4. Jackson

Dear Diary,  
Filming was good today. I got smashed into a piano.  
Jasper has to be the coolest out of the Cullen's.  
If I'm honest though - real vampires don't sparkle. And also, does it really have to be direct sunlight? I mean, there is sunlight even though it's cloudy isn't there? And if plants can photosynthesise in artificial light, shouldn't vampires sparkle?  
I don't know diary. But I'm getting paid a hell of a lot. Should i really be asking questions?  
Diary, i want to know these things...

Jackson xx


	5. Kristen

Dear Diary,  
Well, that was... interesting - To say the least.  
He's a fine guy, but does he really need to propose to me 37 times? Really diary, is it necessary?  
Although we are working in the same four films together diary, he seems richer than me.  
Curious .

Cigarette count: 50

Kristen xox


	6. Rob

Dear Diary,  
Well, you know what they say;  
38th time's a charm (:

Cigarette count: i don't know, i only smoke because Kristen does it :D

Rob x


	7. Jasper

**Dear Diary,**

**Today, i tried eyeliner. Rose walked in and laughed – then she told everyone else, they laughed as well. **

**I don't care; i looked HAWTTT. **

**Love Jasper x**


	8. Seth

**Dear diary, **

**Today, Jake told me that Alice told him that Emmett told her that Rose told Emmett that Rose walked in on Jasper putting eyeliner on.**

**I LOL'd.**

**Love Seth xD**


	9. Jazzy

**Dear Diary,  
****Mood: Apathetic.****  
****My life is spiralling downward.****  
****I couldn't get enough money to go to the 'Blood Red Romance' and 'Suffocate Me Dry' concert.  
It sucks because they play some of my favourite songs like, Stab My Heart because I Love You and Rip Apart My Soul and of course Stabby, Rip, Stab, Stab.  
And it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to flippy thing either, like that guy from that band could do. Some days... **

**LAWL. It's kinda catchy after a while... **

**Jasper xox**


	10. Em

**Dear diary,**

**Today, i found a song about emo's; i told Edward, Jake and Seth. **

**We sang it to Jasper. He stormed out.**

**LOL.**

**Emmett xx**


	11. Jake

**Dear diary,**

**Oh my god, isn't Edward just the dreamiest person ever... his hair is so luscious, and shiny. I wonder what shampoo he uses. Ahhh, his eyes are so sparkly and i could just get lost forever in them...**

**I'm going to kill jasper.**

**Jake.**


	12. Jaspyy

**Dear Diary,**

**I made Jake think he was in love with Edward.  
He tried to kill me though :(**

**It was worth it.**

**Jazz xo**


	13. RPATTZ

Dear Diary,

Ash has some interesting secrets B)

Rob x


	14. Asherrs

Diary! :'(

Rob told Taylor about the naked pictures incident :'(  
Taylor told Kell, who told Jackson, who told Peter, who told Kristen who went looking for them D:  
I don't know what worse diary, that Rob read you, or that Kristen went looking...

Ash xo


	15. Jakers

**Dear Diary,**

**I came up with a new joke for Rosalie today:**

**Did you hear the one about the blonde who had a bumper sticker that said, "ALL BLONDES AREN'T DUMB?"  
No one could read it because it was hung upside-down.**

**Do you like it? ... I know you would 3**

**Jakeyy xxx**


	16. Kellan

Diary,  
I want to be more like Emmett.  
Sigh...

Kell.


	17. Krist

Dear Diary,

Rob has really hairy nipples. It's quite unnerving.  
Taylors are really small and cute (:

Kristen.


	18. Nikki

Dear Diary,  
My hair looks good today.  
Better than yesterday.

Am I getting too much like Rosalie?

Nikki :)


	19. Eddiee

**Dear Diary,**

**I had SEX!  
Oh how it was fantastic. Bella is more than pleasing to the eye. If you know what i mean... **

**Oh diary, i believe i just made a sex joke to you. How frightfully naughty of me!**

**I finally feel like a MAN diary, A MAN!**

**I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU  
Eddie (: **


	20. Jakeyy

Dear Diary,

Nessie and I went to the park today. She asked me were babies come from. AWKWARD!

Jake.


	21. Edwardd

Dear Diary,

I do enjoy the ballet, being a nineteenth century man and all. I decided to educate Bella in the art of dance.

She fell ASLEEP.

Emmett asked if watching guys in tight tights gave me a boner.

No one appreciates the fine arts anymore.

Edward.


	22. Chapter 22 Emmett

Diary,

I think bella is just a cover up for ed's raging homosexuality.

Everyone else agrees; well Jazz and Jake.

I mean, he watches men in tight tights dance!

Em x


	23. Nessie

Dear diary,

Did you know that big birds called storks come from the sky with babies for the mommies and daddies of the world?

Good. Because that's a crock of shit.

I remember my birth diary.  
There was no bird, just blood.  
It was messy.

Ness.


	24. Chapter 24 Sethh

Dear diary.

Today; nothing happened.

FUCK ALL.

Seth.


	25. alicee

Dear diary,

I made jazz have sex with me over and over again.

He's such a pushover :')

Alice.


	26. Jasperr

Diary,

If i say no, she gets angry :'(

Jasper.


	27. Jakee

Dear diary,

We played a prank on alice today. Me and Emmett hid all her clothes :P

Jake.


	28. Chapter 28 alice

MY CLOTHES!  
MY BEAUTIFUL EXPENSIVE CLOTHES!  
ALL OF THE DIARY,  
GONE!

:'(

Alice.


	29. Chapter 29 Em

Dear diary,

Me and Jake hid Alice's clothes! It was so funny, you should have been there.

...

Oh come on diary! Don't look at me like that!

...

Okay, I'll give them back. You're such a good person diary :3

Em x


End file.
